10 Bucks a Ticket Movie Review: Quarantine

[28 Oct 2008 | Tuesday] 

Current mood:  bored Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities I was screaming too, though mostly for the movie to end. Quarantine is essentially another in a long line of "Don't call them zombies!" movies with a plot that revolves around a fluff piece for the local news gone wrong. Jennifer Carpenter, Debra Morgan on Showtime's Dexter, plays a reporter on a ride along with a group of firemen who come upon an apartment building that's hiding a big surprise, Zom- - uh I mean The Infect- - uh I mean, Rabies... Give it a second to sink in... yes.... I said rabies. The movie's "monsters" are people with rabies. If it's any consolation, they're people with super rabies (think Old Yeller times 50!). Rabies Zombies, in case you were concerned, loosely means that the movie's filled with 28 Days Later zombies, except with less style and more shaky cam. While I'm on the subject, when did shaky cam become cool? Because I think it's pretty lame and always feels like a cheap way of adding emotion where there was none beofre. I imagine board room meetings where someone chimes in, "This whole 'filming a movie with cameras' thing is derivative and boring. How about instead of telling a compelling story through the use of good filmmaking and cinematography, we just put the viewer in the movie by having everything unfold in first person! It's brilliant, just like one of those video games the kids love so much!" "-but Bob, isn't that also annoying as hell? Plus, in all those movies the camera's so shaky that it doesn't allow the audience to ever get comfortable." "Right! That's because our movie has tons of tension!They're tense which is why they can't get comfortable." "Bob, tension is a product of good storytelling. What you're doing is just cheap and amateurish." "Shut up, you're stupid!" And so on and so forth- So let's get to the nitty-gritty: what exactly is wrong with Quarantine? To be honest, not a whole lot- the problem is that there isn't a whole lot that's right about the film either. It's just a lame duck that doesn't provide much of anything in the way of entertainment. It just sort of exists. The acting isn't especially bad... or good for that matter. The story is simple but not really clever. Nothing is especially good or bad about it, which at the end of the day just translates into meaning that it's a complete waste of time. Cast - C B & C level actors and actresses make this whole production feel like Lost, the movie but without all of that quality stuff. There's the guy from "That Thing You Do", a guy from "Hostel", a girl from "Heroes, a guy from a lot of other things you've probably seen, and several other people who are just as forgettable. All in all, you'll keep thinking, "I know that person from somewhere" and forget them a second later. Story - D Getting from point A to point B never felt so nausea inducing. Formulaic and forgettable at best. Nothing to see here, move along. Cinematography and Special Effects - D Nothing new, just another zombie flick trying to cash in with a pitch that must have sounded like, "think 28 Days Later meets Cloverfield!" I'm bored just telling you about it. Overall Score: 5.0 Skip It. Utterly forgettable.