Blogging 2

[04 Feb 2007 | Sunday] 

Category: Blogging Adblock I Could Have Lied Lyrics There must be something In the way I feel That she don't want me to feel The stare she bares cut me I don't care You see so what if I bleed I could never change Just what I feel My face will never show What is not real A mountain never seems to have The need to speak A look that shares so many seek The sweetest feeling I got from you The things I said to you were true I could never change Just what I feel My face will never show What is not real [Chorus] I could have lied I'm such a fool My eyes could never never never Keep their cool Showed her and I told her how She struck me but I'm fucked up now But now she's gone yes she's gone away A soulful song That would not stay You see she hides 'cause she is scared But I don't care I won't be spared [Chorus] [Chorus] Wondering. Wondering. Wondering even what I'm thinking. Shit, I wrap myslf up in work so much sometimes that I just forget that the rest of the world even exists. Makes me wonder if that's a boon or a curse at the end of the day. I talked to her again today. Things went well. i guess I didn't expect anything less. I don't know how to take any of this or what to expect from my end of things. Should I react when I hear about other guys being interested in her, or how about her interest in them? Do I even care? That's the weirdest part. I've made a bonafide career out of stuffing down my emotions so far down into the pit of my stomach and repressing them that I don't know whether or not that's what I'm doing right now or if what I felt was truly what I thought it was. The thing is it felt real. It really did, and I wouldn't want to cheapen it with some stupid back-peddling bullshit I might be thinking of doing. I exposed myself just like I taught myself not to and I was privy to something I rarely get the oportunity to experience... that and I allowed myself to experience some real fucking pain, not that surface frustration I've been dealing with... the real stuff, the stuff that made me want to do horrible shit to a person that I love. That's not nor would it ever be cool. I apologized for my momentary lapse in judgment. I'm hopefully past that shit or at least I'd like to think I am. I'd hate for something like that to creep back into my life. I think it's probably time I got out there and met someone which is a bit more difficult than I'd like to let on what with my busy schedule and all. Oh, bit of an update: Master Cleanser Day 35 Total Weight Loss (as of day 32) 30lbs. Grand Total since June.... (wait for it).... 60lbs!!! Oh and a nice little piece of good tidings came my way at work. It seems I was considered for and basically have a supe position with my company. There's a probationary period, but I don't think I'll have too much trouble passing all of the tests. I'm just happy to be considered. After a rough first couple of days, I think I've finally hit my stride and found my niche in it. So hopefully all goes well from here.