Committed

[23 Jul 2006 | Sunday] 

I've done it. I've finally committed myself to something permanent. It's strange in a surreal sort of way, but I guess that's just the way things have been going lately. Few things have made much sense in my life, especially these last few days, and I guess I keep wondering when I'm going to wake up from it all. Bud's become an inner city rapper dubbed GrandMaster B, Peg's pregnant, Kelly's the Verminator, and I'm just waiting to make a detective episode that will explain everything that's happened, this past season, away as nothing more than an extended dream sequence. I've reached new plateaus in my personal life, doing things I would have sworn, not  six months ago, would never happen in a million years, and well, heck, that's the main gyst of what's changed in my life.... but, wait, there's more... Okay, so I'm committed now. I said that in the beginning and, as I'm prone to do, went off on some tangent that probably left a good portion of you scratching your heads, so let me get back to my main point. I've just gone and done something that is irreversible, or at least very difficult to correct. I went and got a tattoo. So here's where you jump in with, "Hell, Alex, I got plenty of them. What makes you so different?" Well, nothing I guess. I just thought it was a big step for me. I just find that I don't really commit myself to anything. I don't believe in the christian sense of God, but can't say, for the life of me, that there's nothing out there. I find it really hard to stick in a relationship and really have that purpose at the end of the road. I just don't do a lot of stuff that I can't up and correct at the drop of a dime. -And maybe I don't do those things because I have my reasons. One: religion just seems like a crock of shit to me. It works for some people and I respect that, but there's just too much logic defying that whole lot and I can't bring myself to turn a blind eye to it. It just doesn't make sense. Two: I just don't think I've either met the right person, or become the right person that's in the proper frame of mind to say I'm ready to move onto that next step when it comes to relationships. I'm not there yet, one way or the other. It just doesn't make sense. Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote "Stinky Britches" ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself! But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: Ladies and gentlemen this [pointing to a picture of Chewbacca] is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planetKashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee—an eight foot tall Wookiee—want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself, what does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense. If Chewbacca lived on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests. So here I am, the one least likely (as Kevin Smith put it in Chasing Amy), and I've gone and done something that will inevitably lead to many an explanation... and well, I'm damn proud of myself. This is a big deal to me, a transition point if you will. Maybe this whole thing is bigger than I can grasp at this point and juncture. Maybe it's just ink on a skin. Who can say for sure? I just know that I made a big step, for me, and I'm liking this. Hopefully it'll serve to remind me what's really important, what really has to be done, and to not just sit on my laurels and let life take me where it sees fit. Look, ma, I'm all grown up! Are ya proud of me?