Girl Next Door

[17 Jul 2006 | Monday] 

I was watching the Girl Next Door, you know the one with Eliza Cuthbert (or however you spell it). Yeah it was an obvious rip off of Risky Business, but that's not all together a bad thing. Risky Business was a good flick and so is this one. Sure it's a little unbelievable at times, but there's this love story in it that absolutely floored me. It had that innocence, like when the guy looked into her eyes, I mean really just gazed at her for the first time, that purity. It was that thing that I'm always looking for, that kiss, the memories of stupid inane moments with her that haunt you for days after, and one single thought kept rolling through my head: IT'S A FUCKING MOVIE!!! They're working off a goddamn script! There's nothing genuine about the emotions, no realness, no purity, nothing like that. They're actors! They get paid to essentially be completely and utterly full of shit! So what the fuck is wrong with me that I'm left searching for, in awe of, something completely and utterly false? Sure, I could go into this long diatribe about how I'm a movie buff and how most of my ideals for love come from said flicks. I could talk about how the girl I want at the end of my journey is essentially Ali with an "I" from Karate Kid (sans her leaving me in the sequel). I could talk about all of those memonts that melt me from the inside out: the long gaze through the fish tank in Romeo and Juliet (the new one), the long-winded speech in Chasing Amy, and a ton of other moments; things that I've often aspired to achieve, and yet, they're all fake. They're the concoctions of writers and set designers and directors and lighting engineers and a million other people who don't give a shit about love or any of that crap. All they cared about was getting the shot. So where does that leave me? Am I, in the end, simply pursuing something that isn't there? Something that will never be there for you me or anyone? Is love really all that fucking awesome, or are we all just led to believe that in order to sell movie tickets? If you can't tell, I've never been there. I got close once, but close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades. Maybe I'll get it eventually. Until then.... fuck if I know.