[10 Mar 2007 | Saturday]
 | Okay, let's try and keep this short and sweet since I have something like four movies to do and a helluva night to get over (Yes, I drank too much, but not so much that it should have affected me the way it did- hence the life lesson). Superman Returns ...really should have been titled, "Yeah you should be disappointed since you waited all this time for a boring CGed up version of original!". Now I'm not saying that this new man of steel is all bollocks, but come on man, where's the fucking action??!! Did we need some never-ending story arch about how Louis can't love Supes anymore? Well yeah maybe, but it could have easily been handled over the course of the next coupla sequels. Plus, here's what really gets me: I saw an early pic from the Superman game and they showed Supes taking on a giant Brainiac robot and it wasn't even included in the film! How awesome could Superman Returns have been if they'd just have injected a little more adrenaline into it? Final Thought: Though it wasn't a bad movie, it was just one big disappointment. Give me more, damnit! One plane and an island of doom just don't cut it! Oh, and editors were made to make films shorter. That whole concept is one Singer should have really looked into. 5.9/10  Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest Solid performances. Great story. Fun action. So why am I not reccomending this little ditty? It's fucking long! -And I mean really fucking, Lord of the Rings style unending ending sequences, long! Shit man, I know there are gonna be like six of these flicks and all, but do I need the low down on every last detail in next coupla sequels? Final Thought: Look, it's good, but it has way too many actions sequences that dragged on and on and the movie would not end. I can almost gurantee you that if the thing had clocked in at 2 hours, I would have been a helluva lot more pleased with it in general. 7/10  A Scanner Darkly Basically the movie wants you to feel the same paranoia that any other stoner might be going through, but never really accomplishes it. It also tries to be witty and funny, and rarely ever got more than a slight chuckle out of me. It wanted to form compelling characters that I'd identify with and grow to care about, again it failed in this, which is not to say that it's poorly acted, it's just poorly presented. Final Thought: Maybe I just didn't get it. Maybe I need the right people with me when I watch it again. Maybe I just wasn't high. Either way, I'm gonna give it one last chance, though my first impression was not a good one. 4.2/10 (May be revised later) My Super Ex-Girlfriend Boy dates all the wrong types of women, namely pyscho hose beasts. He wants a good chick that will be fun, which is about the time that he runs into what may be a nice mild-mannered librarian type on the subway. They hit it off, and then she turns psycho too, except that when this bitch goes psycho she can really turn your life inside out. Mediocre hillarity ensues. Look, it wasn't bad, just pretty forgettable. You'll see it. You'll laugh. You'll never think about it again. Moral of the Story: Women are insane. Guys are retards that only want what's bad for 'em. And only after your ass gets hammered into oblivion will you realize that the good girl was standing next to you all along. 5.5/10 Now for that life lesson: I drank too much last night, and if that horrible affair taught me anything it's this-DRINK WATER! It was hot and muggy last night and I just got way sicker than I should have. So DRINK plenty o' WATER!! |
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