Ten Bucks a Ticket Movie Reviews: Now With More Balls!

[29 Sep 2006 | Friday] 

It's a basic premise: a couple of retards think up the stupidest shit you could ever imagine, get the financial backing to accomplish said stunts, and then proceed to beat the living shit out of each other once the stunts predictably go horribly wrong. Whether it was Steve-O sticking a fishhook through his cheek and diving into shark-infested waters or Johnny Knoxville holding onto a big red rocket (the kind you'd expect to see in a Wyle E. Coyote cartoon) and trying to launch himself over the English Channel and into Germany, you know what you're getting into. People shouldn't see Jackass 2 because they want to discover the secrets to the universe. They go because at our very cores... we all love to see guys get punched in the fuzzy bean bag. So do you really need me to tell you that this could possibly be one of the most cringe-worthy, straight up disgusting, and funniest stupid comedies I've ever seen? You know what's up. Go see the fucking movie already, and if you can, get good and loaded before doing so. Jackass 2 is the kind of movie that guys love watching. It has everything: stupid stunts, drinking, groin shots... well everything except for titties... of wait, it even has those too, but not the kind you'd every want to see. So final verdict? If you're the kind of person that always wanted to know if a person could chug a beer bong through their ass; if you ever wanted to know what dodgeball with medicine balls would look like in the pitch darkness; if you were just ever curious enough to wonder what would happen if you stuck your penis into an aquarium with a snake and shook it around until you got a reaction; if any of these things sounds like you, then you shoulda already seen this movie by now. Word to the wise: Jackass 2 apparently can't get away with showing someone drink horse jizz, but they sure as hell have the artistic license to show you more balls than you can shake a stick at. 8.5/10 (Graded on a curve) Side Recommendations: Get your little brother drunk, hand him a wiffle ball bat, spin him round and round, and let him loose in a cat show.