I gave up on forever...

[27 Jun 2006 | Tuesday] 

Bolsa Chica was great, though it would have been nice to have had more people there. Suffice it to say that Donovan's bbq will be full of food and booze since I got plenty left over. The night ended on a weird note, though I can't really say that I felt it. It seems that things got (I don't want to say, but will) out of hand without my knowledge, and that's not to say that I'm against whatever happened happening. All I can say is that maybe things would have gone a bit differently had I been there. I don't know for sure if that's the case, but I guess I didn't see too much of that sort of behavior occuring when I was right out in the open. About the only thing I can be thanful for is that it didn't get weird, well not in the sense that I was mentioning above at least. Maybe she* expected me to react differently that night. Like I said, I wasn't even aware of half the stuff until she told me about it. She* asked me on our way home if I was mad, and was genuinely concerned. I really wasn't in the slightest. I was a tad peeved cause I didn't want to hear Dane Cook, as good as he is, for the third time, but it was nothing that would have even shown in the slightest. It was funny after all. -But I kinda got the impression that maybe she* was feeling a bit guilty or thought I might react in a bad way to what happened. Like I said, I didn't even know, so there was no rezction to be had. When I did find out though, I was a little off put, but I can't really say that I was mad or anything. I still don't know what to feel about any of this. I'm happy. That, I can say. She* goes out of her way for me and that's cool beyond words. I can see that she*'s really trying and that means the world. I guess like the title implies, I've given up on those dreams about love for now. Maybe it'll come and maybe it won't. It's not for me to say, and maybe this pseudo attitude will give me troubles further down the road, but I just want to be able to roll with this one. Let the cards fall where they may, and just try to respond intelligently. I do like this. Just look at the pic. You can tell I'm liking this. Things are... very good.