[28 Oct 2006 | Saturday]
 | I know, folks, I'm just as surprised as you are. I actually liked a movie, and not just a movie but two fucking movies!! What are the odds? Either Hollywood fucked up big time or else we should be expecting the coming of the great and powerful Cthulhu any minute now. Ready for the world eater, scum suckers? No? Well, then you're fucked anyway! Okay so back to the matter at hand. During my fun weekend (thursday/friday to you civilian types) I made my way to my altar of worship and saw two relatively good flicks. The first of which was Waiting... staring Ryan Reynolds and a loaded cast which was anchored by the remarkable Luis Guzman. Let me start by saying that I love Ryan Reynolds. The guy is amazing! He has unbelievable timing and he knows how exactly when to emphasize certain aspects of a joke while letting others be funny on their own. That being said, Reynolds was all but wasted in this flick. Sure his was a key role, it just could have easily been played by just about anyone else. The same could be said for Andy Milonakis (or however the fuck you spell his name, don't worry about it though, he'll make no more an impact than John Green did), David Koechner, and Dane Cook. Sure they're all pretty funny (except for Milonakis who I just think is a complete douche maximus baggius) but they could have had they're roles easily played by other less talented actors. All that aside, the real star of this show and the laugh master goes easily to Luis Guzman! Fucken A I laughed harder than hell whenever that damn lovable Puerto Rican was on camera! He totally pwned this movie. It was just sad. So yeah, Reynold, Koechner, and Dane Cook weren't remarkable, but don't let that make you believe that they aren't funny. It's just tat I love each of their works dearly and seeing them in roles anywhere shy of stellar is a damn shame. Back to the movie. So here's really all I have to say about the rest of this flick: you may laugh until you feel like dying, you may just chuckle from time to time, but I will gurantee you this, whatever your reaction you should realize as I did that this movie at it's very core is at least genuine to its goal. I, like most people, am sick to death of cookie cutter comedies/horror flicks/action flicks where all the same shit happpens to the same fucking stereotypes. So to actually see something different is nothing less than a breath of fresh air. Sure, it wasn't the funniest thing I'd ever seen. It won't be a cult classic to me, but it sure as hell isn't the worst thing out there. 7.5/10 Side Recommendations: Out Cold (Koechner) and Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place (tv series) (Reynolds) Then I decided to check out a flick that really left a bad taste in my mouth the last time this franchise came around, Saw II.  I gotta say that I really didn't like the first Saw. I thought it had a great concept, but that it's execution was terrible. The director decided to fill the screen with crappy cop bullshit and a stalker side story rather than give us what we paid to see, a glamorized snuff picture! That really wasn't the only thing wrong with Saw though. Cary Elwes sucked hard. Yeah, I loved him in the Princess Bride and Robin Hood: Men in Tights, but the guy was just stinking bad in Saw. The only good moments from the first saw came in flashbacks to three people who either lived or died due to Jigsaw's, the film's resident serial killer, psycho "games". Those happened to be shot in a quick, dynamic fervor that begger for viewers to be at the edge of thier seats. So going into Saw II, I had my hopes and low expectations. What fucked me up was that I actually really dug the flick! It was good! I mean really good! They got a new lead actor in Donnie Wahlberg and man did he know what he was doing! His performance carried the movie and though it wasn't exactly oscar material, he did more than enough for a horror flick. So now most people will be asking, "But was it scary?!" Saw II had it's moments, but it really didn't get my goat other than in a few jump moments, but Saw really isn't knows for that sort of stuff. When you see Saw, you want to see gore and God damn is there a lot of that crap. You get blown out skulls, bloody corpses, sliced throats, people getting burned alive, and even one person having to crawl around on a bed of syringes! It was FUCKED UP to say the least. Fucked up or not though, Saw II had tight cuts, dingy backdrops, and a fast paced story that always had you wondering what was coming next. Saw II was what the first movie should have been, and the funny part about it was that when Hollywood threw more money at the franchise, it just didn't become shinier crap it actually got better! I'm telling ya, Cthulhu is on his way! This shit just doesn't happen! Sequels are damned to get worse, not better! 8.5/10 Side Recommendations: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and any of the Romero flicks (all gory as hell) |
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