Open Relationships: Good thing or Bad thing?

 Oct 2005 | Sunday] 

Current mood:  thoughtful So I'm in an open relationship now. I've been in one for a long while now. The thing is that when I first asked to be in one, and yes it was I who asked, I did so in order to push the girl I'm currently seeing away. She's great and all. I just couldn't see how much then. So now, we're further down the path and I'm becoming attached, or as Niki puts it, "You're already attached. Deal with it." I've sort of lost that want to see other people now. It's... I don't know. I guess Robert's personal view of his situation is playing out in mine. Robert's in an open relationship too, and he once told me that although he is free to go out and do what he will, he doesn't. It's not that he can't. It's that he's just lost that desire. There's something about getting what you want, that something that's denied, getting it, being able to do it without impune, it just takes the "fun" out of it (I guess would be the correct way of saying it). The funny thing is I'm talking to her and she mentions being out with her ex and some friends and one of her friends asked who he was. She answered, "Oh he's just a friend... a friend with benefits." That just struck me in a way that I'd never have expected it to hit me. I don't quite know what's running through my mind right now. I want to pull away. I want to shut down. I want to back away. It's getting close to someone that isn't close to you... although to be honest, she really has made strides to be by my side. It's just an overly complicated situation, one that I figured would somehow get less so once I decided to let her in. Chalk it all up to being careful for what you ask for, because, after all.... you just might get it. By the way, yes I know the picture is overly dramatic. It's not to that point, just something that stuck out at me. Currently listening: Presents the Carnival Featuring the Refugee Allstars By Wyclef Jean Release date: 24 June, 1997