Exhale

[24 May 2006 | Wednesday] 

If nothing else, this little time in my life has taught me that the part of me I thought was all but gone is alive and well. It's hard being a nice guy. I know only a few of you will get that. Those of us that were raised to think that girls were a true marvel will know what I'm talking about. Sometimes I really don't want to see the world through the rose colored glasses of my heart. It makes things a helluva lot more difficult. I go through things and mull over non-issues far more often than the average person (if you couldn't already tell). -But sadly, I'm kinda glad it's still there. My innocence, though I thought my jadded shell had suphocated it, is still intact, and honestly I believe it is the only part of me that will still know, understand, and appreciate love when it decides to walk through my door. I'm happy in an odd sort of way. I know it'll give me trouble at the end of the day, but at the same time, it's (hopefully) going to be a source of my greatest pleasure. Maybe it won't, but who gives a fuck. This is the way that I am, tortured, tormented, and appreciative of the side of me that refuses to die. Without it, I guess I would lose everything that I prize so dearly. I'm a man cursed and blessed by his inner core, but that's what makes me the man that I am.